Ok…I wrote this in like March 2007 for a column in MetroBeat but ended up doing something else. So this was just sitting there saved in my files with no one to read it. :( Since I haven't felt much like blogging lately, I thought I'd share this older but fairly typical Tammy type piece for your reading….ummm…pleasure?

Dueling Banjoes

So in my last column, I sang the praises of Gen Xers and this week I’m kinda like…what was I thinking? Not really, but unfortunately sometimes all it takes to ruin an optimistic attitude about a whole generation of people is to run into one that blows the hell out of your entire theory.

So we went to a party recently where a good friend of ours turned 40. It was one of those parties where it takes the whole day after to recuperate—for numerous reasons.

Why? Because we’re 40 (or almost) and in denial. We think, once we get around old friends that drinking and dancing and reminiscing and such won’t hurt so bad in the morning. And that is just not true. It always hurts in the morning. And on into the afternoon. And sometimes throughout the night.

I love going to parties. I am a little social bee. Yap. Yap. Yap. I can talk to anybody. Regardless of politics or religion or profession, I just love to be around people and this party was no difference.

Despite the fact that I kept getting introduced as a liberal.

“This is Tammy. She’s a liberal.”

“Oh, have you met Tammy? She’s a liberal, you know.”

“Do you know Tammy? She likes gays, Jews and blacks, but not church, the war or George W. Bush.”

Ummmmm. Okay. That last one didn’t happen. But, hell after awhile I doubt I would’ve been surprised.

Because really…what’s the point of introducing me as a liberal? I’m not really sure. To ward off the sticks in the mud I hope. I really don’t care to spend my time or energy entertaining the boring people. Or maybe it’s because I’m somewhat of an anomaly?  

I know it’s a very southern thing—pointing out someone’s uniqueness. I’m sure you’ve noticed it before particularly with some Southern women. They say things like “she’s black, you know.” “He’s Jewish.” “They’re gay.” They put their hand up next to their mouth and say it with that hush-hush, “it’s a secret” church voice with their head cocked and they make that “poor them” face.

If you’ve been in the south for any length of time, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Over the years, I have gotten into a really bad habit of surrounding myself with the same 10-12 people all the time in a social setting. My husband says I’m out of touch with reality because I don’t know how the majority think or live or believe.

He’s right. As much as I am in touch, I am out of touch.

I resolved myself some years back that I when I went to parties outside of my direct social circle, i.e. those who REALLY know me, politics and religion were off limits. I am not interested in discussing either at a party with someone I just met. I spent my 20’s at parties arguing the death penalty and God with people and had enough.

Now, if I get the chance to go to a party, I want to have fun. My husband, David, on the other hand enjoys talking politics with people. So when someone walked up to me at this latest party and said, “David just made some girl cry because he insulted George Bush.” My first thought was ‘too funny.” But, then I felt bad…not for the girl…for everyone else at the party.

In David’s defense, he lives with me and when it comes to politics I can be pretty unrelenting and can handle myself well in a political conversation. Obviously, after a couple of drinks, he forgot that not all girls are like me.

So, he apologized and asked forgiveness from this fellow party goer. He felt bad. He went on and on. Finally to the point, that I pulled him aside and said, “Enough already.” I really don’t want to take my hubby in public to watch him make girls cry, but geez. Apologizing for your aggressive attitude is one thing, but it started to sound as if he was sorry for who he was or what he believed. Both of them should have been responsible enough not to start that crap at someone’s birthday party…but they did and we’ve all witnessed that happen.

A little later in the party I happened to walk by the crying party goer who was chatting with her friends. I heard someone ask her, “You used to care about issues like hunger and poverty…you used to be a Democrat, what happened?”

Her response? “I grew up.”

Oh, my. Did she just insinuate that those of us that refuse to join her in her worship of George W. Bush…need to grow up?

What exactly did she mean? “I grew up?” I’ve heard that before and it’s usually from people that are attempting to insinuate that to care about others or the problems plaguing our community makes you a bleeding heart. Idealistic. Naïve. Living in a utopia and so on. 

So to care about poor people or a failing public education system or child abuse or unemployment or lack of healthcare makes one immature?

Apparently when you ‘grow up’ you get to be more selfish and take the easiest route for yourself and ignore the problems plaguing the rest of society and worry about more serious issues like marrying someone who can tell you how to think and vote, shoes of the season, where to shop for a new spring outfit for church, pedicures and other things I heard this party goer chat about throughout the night.

Oh, boy. I just can't wait to grow up. I bet I'll feel much better about myself then!

Caring about serious, real life problems with no easy answers and having the guts to face them and fight to fix them has nothing to do with how liberal or conservative one’s political philosophies are. It has everything to do with being a good person.

And by the way, I'm Tammy and I'm a liberal. Nice to meet you.

I've probably said all that about a million times before…here's to a million and one! Hope everyone is well!

:) t