Seeding Spartanburg

It’s on its way. I felt it today and I can’t wait. I love Spring. One of the reasons I love Spartanburg so much. Spartanburg is a great place to be in the Spring. We stay busy, busy, busy. I love busy. People feel good. Revived. Ready for a fresh start. Excited. We’re no different. We’re ready to get out and about.

I’ve been thinking about my blog and what to do with it. My interest in blogging isn’t what it used to be. You can only blog about things you’re passionate about and put up with crazy people for so long. Those of you who read and aren’t crazy have probably wondered why anyone would do it to themselves. For the past year…I’ve wondered the same myself.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting ready to turn 40 and with the wisdom that comes with age…you start to realize what matters in life. And arguing with people who don’t have the balls to sign their name to an insulting comment on a blog over an issue like healthcare or abortion or some other complex issue that won’t be solved on a blog isn’t where I want my life going. Don’t get me wrong…I love good debate as much as the next person but good, intellectual debate usually means people are willing to stand by what they say and I just don't find that often enough in the blogosphere.

You get but one chance to use your voice…use it people. The fear of using our names to back up what we say is a symptom of the bigger problems in this country. We need to be talking face to face. Person to person. But, I digress.

Anyhoo, I’m ready for Spring. New job. Trying a garden…again. Still working hard on Spartanburg because I believe in it. Looking forward to events like Jazz on the Square, Spartanburg Criterium and the Farmers Market.  Can’t wait for the Hub City Community Bookstore to open. Hub-Bub will be welcoming a new group of Artists-in-Residence before we know it. Jam in the Park will start in April. RJ Rockers just presented ‘Rock on the Dock’ which will also start in April. Music on Main. Spring Fling. And simple things like wine on the front porch with friends.

There is lots to do in ole’ Sparkle City…no reason to not get out and get involved. So many of these events are free or close to it and they are a lot of fun especially when you get a few friends to join you. A great way to build positive memories for you and your kids around the community we live in.

And who can’t use some cheap positives??? We can definitely use those at our house.

I guess I’m reflecting this weekend. On Friday, I went to a funeral of one of the best people I’ve ever known in my life, Phyllis Dempsey. She was a dear family friend. My kindergarten teacher. She loved people regardless of anything and we loved her. I learned a lot from her life example. She had a horrible bout with cancer. Also on Friday, my best friend from high school (who is still a dear friend after all these years) had a double mastectomy due to breast cancer. 39 years old. Talk about putting things into perspective. Life experiences like these should make us reflect on what we do with the short (and it is short) time we have here. So I’m glad I’m taking them to heart because I have so much to learn.

I guess this is what getting older is all about? Growing from life experiences. Maybe I just thought life would keep on going as easy as it did in my 20s. Well…it ain’t. And that’s okay. I’m slowly realizing life will throw unexpected punches everyday and it’s up to me to figure out how in the hell to deal with them all. Wow…who knew?

That’s why I look forward to Spring and opportunities to spend time with friends and family. It’s all about the relationships. Life, that is. A picnic with my kids on the Cottonwood Trail or the Glendale preserve or a Sunday brunch with our buddies and their kids…hanging out at Jazz on the Square or at a neighborhood block party or having a cup of coffee at Little River or an impromptu beer Downtown on a Sunday afternoon with friends is what it’s all about. Even cuddling on the couch with the babies watching a Sonic rerun…I’ll take that any day because I know those days are numbered.

So, even though I’ve been one slack blogger who’s doing a lot of reflecting these days, I promise to at least post fun stuff to do in the community this Spring.

I hope I get to see all of you there.

t

…how you affect someone else’s life. Have you ever thought about how you might? Probably not. But you do. Somehow. You just don’t realize it.

David and I stopped by a fundraiser at Delaney’s in Downtown Spartanburg tonight. For Mitzi McCallister. She was a bartender at Delaney’s. Based on tonight’s attendance, I gather she was so much more than that. I don’t really know much more about her because I only knew her as the cute, happy bartender at Delaney’s who took great care of my friends and I when we frequented Delaney’s. And that was enough for us to stop by and contribute to the cause.

Mitzi died a couple of weeks ago. Suddenly. Early 30s. Aneurysm, I’m told.

I saw her many times. Didn’t think much about our exchanges. We just had pleasant conversations and went on our merry ways. But these past couple of weeks I’ve thought about her. And how I never thought much about our quick, brief conversations yet, I’m thinking about her now. And wondering if she knew how many folks she might have just touched in her short life.

I know she probably didn’t because none of us ever do. We don’t think about how who we are and what we do affects others. Not in little ways. We don’t think about the small encounters in our lives at the local bar or gas station or getting deli meat or paying our water bill or whatever. But we should. I’ve met some of closest friends by waiting on them in a restaurant. And met many more good friends by them waiting on me.

We’re just people. All of us—living our lives. 

So the next time you go into a bar or a grocery store or a gas station or anywhere you encounter another human being…smile and be nice. Even when they’re not. Even if your tea gets low. Or you have wait longer than you think you should. Yes, there are some who aren’t just nice or helpful or are slow. But, most of the time people are just trying to do their jobs.

Sometimes we all have bad days and that’s okay. Just be nice. It matters. Take the high road if you must. We never know where someone else is coming from but that shouldn’t keep us from being nice to another. You never know how your smile and kindness just might make someone else’s day.

RIP Mitzi. Thanks for sharing your smile and often making me forget while I wasn’t smiling myself.

t

Spent the eve in Downtown Spartanburg with 70+ women celebrating Susan B. Anthony’s 190th birthday. Good times.  

That’s JUST what Spartanburg and SC needs. Smart women…organized smart women coming together to effect social change. Oh, how I love it.

In honor of her birthday…a few great Susan B. quotes…we must always remember where we've been and where we STILL are.

I can't say that the college-bred woman is the most contented woman. The broader her mind the more she understands the unequal conditions between men and women, the more she shafes under a government that tolerates it.

The fact is, women are in chains, and their servitude is all the more debasing because they do not realize it.

I think the girl who is able to earn her own living and pay her own way should be as happy as anybody on earth. The sense of independence and security is very sweet.

Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences.

Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.

The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball – the further I am rolled the more I gain.

Organize, agitate, educate, must be our war cry.

Amen Sister! Happy Birthday! And thank you…for standing up when making a stand wasn’t so easy. It’s easier now but still difficult. We will keep pushing forward. Hard. Always remembering those who came before us.

Promise.

t

Heard this piece on NPR this morning that about 1 million kids have been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. No surprise there. I’ve been a skeptic for years of all these new labels and diseases created in meetings by drug companies so they can get more people to take drugs…so hearing this is no shock. I wonder if more people might start to listen? Regardless, this article makes me feel good about the choices I have made.

Children Labeled 'Bipolar' May Get A New Diagnosis

Interesting points from the article:

• …many of the kids now categorized as bipolar were, once upon a time, diagnosed as having conduct disorder.
• Since the mid-1990s, the number of children diagnosed with bipolar disorder has increased a staggering 4,000 percent.
• Another advantage to the bipolar label, Gabrielle Carlson, a child psychiatrist at Stony Brook University points out, is that the insurance industry saw bipolar as a biological or medical problem, while conduct disorder was seen more as a parenting problem, so insurance companies were reluctant to reimburse for it.
• "If you've got something that says it's not a medical problem," says Carlson, insurance is not going to pay for it. "Conduct disorder is bad parenting, lousy environment, poor supervision, you're a bad seed. It ain't a medical problem. Bipolar they'll pay for."
• Finally, Carlson argues, parents themselves were relieved on some level. Because this set of behaviors was no longer seen as conduct disorder, the psychiatrist sitting across the desk from them was no longer blaming them for the terrible things that were happening to their child.
• "Part of the acceptance of the bipolar if you're a parent is, 'Hey I'm off the hook on this one. It's not 'cause I'm a bad parent, I've just got this kid with a genetic problem. It's not my fault,' " says Carlson. "You know, there's some pros and cons to that, but the fact remains many people found that liberating."

I know what she is talking about–that sense of relief a parent has when they get a "reason" for what is happening–something that explains why this ain't going like Ozzie and Harriet…because I looked for a long time for something—a name—that was plaguing my son because I was being pushed from various angles to admit something was wrong. He’s wild. He doesn’t focus. He’s hyper. He doesn’t sit in his seat. He talks too much (wonder where he gets that from?).

Thank goodness, it finally hit me…ONE–I have to work REALLY hard to be a good parent. We're not just born to be good parents. And TWO, those things are not “wrong.” They are things that kids do. When I tell him to stop doing those things…he often throws a temper tantrum. Does that make him sick? Heck no, it’s not fun but in our opinion, not worthy of powerful anti-psychotic drugs that alter his personality and does God knows what to his little growing body.

Anyhoo, every parent has to judge for themselves–WE are the ones who know our children best. But I do recommend not walking in a door and simply trusting a professional without doing your homework. Despite the fact that we know every child is different we are living in a time when we are seeing children lumped in and labeled as if they’re all the same with the same issues. We shouldn’t need an NPR article to tell us that is just not the case. As parents, we have a responsibility to read and question everything and advocate for our children before we allow someone to stigmatize them with a label that in a few years someone will come back and say…oops, our bad because it’s a little late then. At that point…damage has been done.

t

The following post is written by my friend Phillip Belcher. I asked if I could share. I've been so busy recently…maybe I'll start giving my friends an outlet to vent…that way, I don't feel so guilty for neglecting Seeding Spartanburg while I work on Citizen Spartanburg.

By Phillip Belcher

Dear Members of the Spartanburg County Legislative Delegation:

I recently read in the Spartanburg Herald Journal of an effort by two of your members to take from County Council the power to appoint members to the Board of Spartanburg Regional Health System. The rationale for the effort seems to be that state representatives should have the ability to appoint board members to organizations that receive state dollars through Medicaid. 

This is a curious development. First, as far as I know, Spartanburg Regional is a well-run, efficient, award-winning health system. It provides millions of dollars of free care annually to uninsured residents of Spartanburg County and beyond. I am not sure what improvements your appointees will bring to the table. Secondly, please bear with my annoying tendency to take arguments to their logical conclusions. So, if your concern is that the legislative delegation should have some say in the governance of organizations that receive state dollars, I suppose that corporations receiving tax subsidies, tax breaks, fee-in-lieu agreements and similar forms of what some have called “corporate welfare” should beware. They, too, could become targets for legislators who want a seat at the boards of all organizations that get tax breaks. This is a message that should probably be included in corporate recruiting materials so that companies like BMW and Boeing will have all the information they need to make relocation decisions.

If the issue is one of cost control, here are a few recommendations that would decrease the amount of money the state spends on health care:

1. Support efforts to expand health insurance coverage. If everyone in the state were insured, then S.C. residents would not be forced to seek their primary care at the most expensive location possible—hospital emergency rooms.
 
2. Restore and increase funding to the South Carolina Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Hospital costs increase when babies are born prematurely or without adequate prenatal care. And, while you’re at this, mandate science-based pregnancy prevention curricula as part of the health education programs in all public schools. Health education is already taught. There’s no reason not to teach what’s proven to be effective.

3. Support efforts to create a rating system for early childhood development centers in South Carolina. Parents have a right to know the quality of the child development centers in which they enroll their children. High quality early learning has been proven through longitudinal studies to improve health outcomes, reduce crime and recidivism, increase home ownership, and increase employment. The Federal Reserve has calculated that every dollar devoted to high quality early care and education of young children produces an approximate 16% return on investment. South Carolina’s current rating scheme is woefully inadequate—sort of like the constitutional guarantee of a “minimally adequate” education. You’ll need to ignore the for-profit child care lobbyists who will complain that increasing standards will put them out of business. Many of the same for-profit chains operate in our neighboring states. Those states have rating systems, and the for-profit centers appear to be doing just fine. And, you might want to look at survey data from Spartanburg County which shows that cost is not the most significant factor for parents choosing child development centers anyway. Parents have as much a right to know the quality of child development centers as they do the quality of the restaurants where they take their families to eat. One more thing.  If you want to attract high-paying white collar and high-end manufacturing jobs to South Carolina, you should pay attention to the quality of child development centers. Those employers are.

4. If you want to reduce Medicaid and other health expenses, raise the tax on tobacco.  This is a proven way to reduce smoking, and smoking is a major health problem in South Carolina and the source of much of the expenditure of state money on health care.

5. Do what you can at the state level to promote sensible land use planning. Automobile emissions are higher in poorly planned communities, and poor air quality is a significant contributor to the skyrocketing number of asthma cases.
 
This is just a start. The data show these steps to be effective. If cost is the issue, be bold and take actions that will really make a difference. Of course, if the real issue is aggregating power, then maybe your two members are on the right track.

Everyday when I leave work to drive home, I witness the Liberty Tax Service guy dressed in his Statue of Liberty outfit dancing on the corner of 176 in Union. He makes me smile. Big. From ear-to-ear. Sometimes, I smile so big and laugh…tears come to my eyes. He just makes me THAT happy.

Why? I bet you're asking.

Here's this guy who has a job–as crazy as it may seem to many of us…and damn…if he ain't making the best of it. Life is hard. Times are depressing. And he's doing what he can. He puts on that outfit and draws customers to the Liberty Tax place.

I hope he wins the lottery one day. He deserves it. I appreciate how much he puts life into perspective for me.

t

OKAY…who's tired of politicians who whine about the media sensationalizing everything when in reality what is happening to them in the media is THEIR OWN fault? Me, me, me!! Over the past year, I've come to the conclusion that one true sign of a sorry politician is when they always blame the media for their problems. Hello. YOU made the decision…the media is doing their job to share with the rest of us what you're doing…even when you're doing bad or stupid stuff that doesn't make you look so good…they still tell. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR…   anyhoo…

Part of being a good politician is knowing what/how much to say because you NEVER know how the electorate will take it. Regardless of what message you *think* you are sending you are speaking to a bunch of very different people…all of which will interpret something in their own way so my advice to politicians…don't EVER say things that require you to "explain" yourself because you'll always end up digging yourself in a deeper hole.

So here's a good example…I'm guessing y'all heard about what's going on with Andre Bauer…I would say, NOT a good politician considering he obviously didn't think before he started running his mouth, perpetuating stereotypes that don't even reflect the truth. Luckily, today, the Herald Journal did a little "sensationalizing" by pointing out how ignorant this guy really is about the topic at hand.   

Knowledge Would Help 

Bauer: "there is no end" to how long people can receive welfare in South Carolina

Fact: South Carolinians can receive welfare payments for a maximum of 24 months.

Bauer: welfare recipients should have to do something for the money

Fact: welfare recipients must perform 30 hours of worker training every week or lose their benefits

Asked repeatedly whether he had learned anything from this incident, Bauer repeatedly said "no," then added, "I learned that the media sensationalizes what they hear. I learned that no one wants to have a serious conversation about the issues."

But a serious conversation on these issues would have to involve facts.

What he should learn is how many people get these benefits, and under what circumstances. What he should learn is to think before he speaks. What he should learn is how to apologize sincerely for a mistake.

Amen. Good Job EVIL media.

And to think this whole mess stemmed from a conversation he had with his Grandmother. Really? I don't know what kind of conversations Andre had with his Grandmother where the justification of starving animals ever became the topic of conversation but my Grandma usually stuck to simple stuff like…"Shut up while you're ahead."

Now that is some good Grandma advice.

t

p.s. Really Andre…thanks for bringing more of the same onto our state.

City Council is going to start holding workshops every fourth Monday during City Council meetings. The purpose of the workshop is for Council and the public to have an in-depth learning experience about a particular issue facing the City. The workshop will last about 30 minutes. This week's workshop is about Stormwater Utility.

Now…you may think to yourself…that doesn't sound very interesting and well…hey, it may not be. BUT, if you want to understand more about what's going on in your community learning about stormwater utility is important because it is something that MUST be addressed and it is expensive and it's even more expensive if we're not proactive. Here's a good example I received:

Why is a Stormwater Utility important?

Currently, there is no stable funding stream for Stormwater Management in the City of Spartanburg. The City spends nearly $700,000 per year on maintenance and repairs. However, projects like the replacement of culverts are not within this budget and can be extraordinarily expensive. An example of this is the Garner Road culvert replacement in 2007, which cost upwards of $1 million. Our Stormwater infrastructure in the City is aging, with some culverts approaching 100 years old. Replacing a culvert that has failed can sometimes cost 50% more than if it was simply maintained or replaced in a timely fashion.

See? That IS important! Many thanks to City Staff for offering and Council for supporting these educational workshops. We need them.

City Council meetings are the 2nd & 4th Monday of every month at 5:30pm in Council Chambers at City Hall.

t

I was chatting with a friend the other day who commented that I never travel. I don’t. Ever. Hardly ever. I rarely leave Spartanburg to take a "vacation".

After our conversation, I thought more about it. There was a time in my life when I loved to go, go, go. There was a time in my life when I didn’t think I could get out of Spartanburg fast enough. So I moved away…to Atlanta, Wilmington, NC, Boone, NC then Los Angeles. The only time I traveled when I lived in those places…I traveled to Spartanburg. And now that I’m back in Spartanburg…I go nowhere.

I’m almost 40 and I don’t have a passport. I’ve never even been to New York City. Sometimes I think that is sad. I mean…NYC?!?! How is it that I lived in Los Angeles for almost 3 years yet I’ve never visited NYC? Who knows.

Anyhoo, I started thinking of how happy it makes me that I’m happy where I am. I spent so many years searching for happy. I always thought it would be somewhere besides here. And it wasn’t.  I finally figured out happy is whatever I make it to be.

Don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying I’ll never travel. I enjoy our yearly family beach trip to Edisto although we never stay the whole week because I’m always ready to get home. This past year, we spent a long weekend up in the NC mountains and although I tried to convince David on the first night we should go home the next day…we stayed. And had a blast. We managed to meet some locals and they invited us to their neighborhood party and I loved that, of course. I even met a former Greenville City Councilman there and we talked politics. I guess I’m just drawn to community and politics wherever I go.

And I’ve always wanted to visit the Forbidden City and Eastern Europe to see the concentration camps. But, visiting those places takes a lot of money not to mention it will also mean I have to overcome the fear of flying I’ve developed since my children were born.

I used to love to fly. I loved to get to the airport early, hang out at the bar, meet people, watch people and fly off but I’ve only flown once since my children were born and I swore if I ever got off that plane I’d never leave my kids again.

I know, I know. Planes are safer, etc. etc. But, for some reason, I was scared the last time I flew.

So, all those things…I just don’t travel. Which leads me to yet another conversation with a friend.

I was chatting with my buddy Ned over coffee last week when he told me about a presentation he recently saw where the speaker said he believed happiness was linked to community pride—love of community. So I put that conversation with the travel conversation and came to the conclusion that maybe I’m just where I need to be. I see the good in what is around me and it makes my life good. It took me a while to realize that. I spent a lot of time and money searching and while I wouldn’t take anything for those experiences, I am now surrounded by family, great friends and a place that I am willing to work my butt off to make it better…and I couldn’t be happier.

And all the traveling in the world can’t top that because at the end of the day…you always have to come back home.

t

When someone sends me something like this it sends a chill down my spine to learn that there are people in SC working on something so important and I didn't even know about it.

And now that I do..it's like a little gift. That I love. Many thanks to the folks who put this together. I love this gift.

TELL THEM SC!!

Join thousands of men and women from around the state as we email our legislators to let them know: The majority of South Carolinians support age appropriate, medically accurate sexual health information and access to counseling and clinical services.

There are lots of statistics on the site as to why it is so important we talk about this issue like adults. But my favorite statistic is this one:

Births to young mothers cost South Carolina taxpayers $156 million annually.

WOW. Annually is every year y'all. Just want to make sure that is clear. That's a lot of money we could save if we were a little proactive. Someone remind me why we don't properly educate young people again???

We have got to do better in this state. Visit the website to learn more.

t